laugh out loud quotes

Number 100 – I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

Fred and George were hiding behind a tapestry on the second floor, waiting for something.

They were quickly joined by Harry and Ron.

‘How did you know we were -’ Fred began, before Harry cut him off.

‘Marauder’s Map,’ he said, pointing at the parchment. ‘You hiding from Filch?’

‘And McGonagall,’ the twins said together.

‘They’re pretty scary,’ Ron grinned. ‘But it was worth it.’

‘Where’s Hermione?’ George asked.

‘Her dormitory. She got covered in blue paint during the first attack.’

‘First attack? He’s still going?’ George asked.

‘Yep. The Great Hall looks as if it’s exploded,’ Harry grinned. ‘You should see Malfoy. Covered in yellow.’

Suddenly, the tapestry was swept back again. The four were faced with the Headmaster.

‘Fred, George, I believe Professor McGonagall is looking for you,’ he said, his eyes twinkling.

‘Aw no…’ Fred muttered, stepping out of the safe zone, followed by his twin. They shrugged in unison, and followed Dumbledore back to the Great Hall, were Peeves was waiting for them, armed and ready.

this is the full version of my signature

Number 95 – I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

‘Oi, Malfoy!’ Fred Weasley called down the busy charms corridor.

Malfoy turned, a bored look on his pale face. ‘What, Weasley?’

George joined them, grinning. ‘Give this to your Dad, would you?’ George handed him a letter inscripted ‘Lord V.’ ‘Tell him to pass it on to the Head Cheese.’ The twins gave him the thumbs up and walked away, high-fiving each other.

Malfoy frowned, and ripped open the envelope, tearing the letter out and unfolding it.

‘Dear Lord Voldemort.

We are two concerned citizens worried about the fate of our lives.

We’re going to ask you to stop. Just stop being such a control freak, and get on with your life.

We’ll leave you alone if you leave us alone.

Lots of Love,

Two concerned citizens.

P.S. Our names are Lucius and Draco Malfoy.

Malfoy grimaced and was about to rip the letter up, when an idea struck him.

‘Professor Snape?’ he called after the professor who’s just walked past. ‘Fred and George Weasley gave me this…’